


Good Nights Bad Nights and Lonely NIghts

by CarnivalofBrokenDolls (yourrhinestoneeyes)



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Leonard and Toki as teens, M/M, Teen Angst, alt dimension, some things from the comics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 10:53:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7505455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourrhinestoneeyes/pseuds/CarnivalofBrokenDolls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's the good nights together where everything is perfect, there's the bad nights where it feels like the world has it out for them, and then there's the nights where it feels like there's nothing worth living for at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Nights Bad Nights and Lonely NIghts

This situation was not ideal. 

That was the thought Leonard had anytime that Toki showed up on his doorstep, almost always in the dead of the night, and most times the younger teen was bruised to hell and back. Sometimes he wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t make eye contact, and would just sulk to the green love seat in the living room while Leonard got him a beer from the kitchen.

Their relationship deeply terrified the lanky blond haired teenager. He was only seventeen, he wasn’t supposed to worry about one day his boyfriend just being gone forever, he wasn’t supposed to look for signs of a concussion or to check for broken bones.

No they were young; they were supposed to be having fun in the day time. Not sneaking around at night, hiding away. Toki was always hiding; he was hiding at Leonard’s house; he was hiding bruises under jackets in the summer time hoping that his longtime friend wouldn’t notice them.

There had been many times where he wouldn’t see Toki for weeks on end, he would worry at school, he’d worry at his part time job, and even when he was high off his ass he would worry about his boyfriend. He knew one wrong hit and his dad could kill him, he knew one more missed meal and the boy could possibly just starve to death. There were times Leonard found himself with the phone in his hand considering contacting the police, calling and saying; “Hey my friend, his dad beats him and his parents won’t let him out of the house. Please save him.”

He never did, he never went through with it, because if he did and Toki found out he was the one who called (because frankly it couldn’t be anybody else, nobody else cared) then he would never speak to the stuttering boy ever again. If the cops didn’t care and left Toki with his parents then his father would assume Toki tried reporting them and well….

So Leonard never did anything to help, to stop it. He just did what he thought he could do.

When Toki showed up on his doorstep he let him in, the days he showed up smiling happily despite his blackened eyes and the bruises imprinted on his neck. Those were pleasant days where they just lied. Days where Leonard would ask if he wanted something to eat and normally Toki asked for candy or nothing at all, either way they would sit on the ugly green love seat and watch cartoons. They would talk or they wouldn’t talk at all, Toki would lay across his lap and Leonard would play with his boyfriend’s thick brown hair that was just barely shoulder length. At one point he’d casually throw out the notion of going up to his bedroom, y’know maybe Toki could play guitar for him or listen to Leonard play keyboard. That never happened, the moment they were in the blond boy’s bedroom they were on each other. They kissed and held each other tightly, Toki smiled against his lips and laughed when calloused fingers tickled at his sides. They would fall onto the bed and Toki would straddle the taller boy’s lap. Leonard would caress and kiss each bruise and cut, he wanted to keep him safe. 

Those were the good nights. The nights where the room smelled like a summer night mingling with the stench of hot sex and there was the sweet taste of candy on Toki’s tongue and lips and God for a moment things were alright, they were almost pristine.

…..Then there were the other nights.

The nights where Toki showed up shaking, tired, and blood trickled from his nose. Leonard wouldn’t touch him or smile at him, he just gently told him he could come in. Toki would go to the couch and sit with his head down, his arms wrapped around his thin frame. Leonard would get him a beer, tell him he could use his bathroom to wash up and even change into some of his clothes if he wanted to. With how thin the Norwegian was Leonard’s clothes seemed to hang off of him despite his own thin frame.

While Toki bathed and drank Leonard would stay in the living room, he gave him space because frankly he was young too. He was young and he was scared and he didn’t know just how to handle this. How did you take care of somebody you loved who flinched when you raised your voice above a whisper?

Once the younger was clean, dressed, and done with his beer Leonard would normally find him curled up on his bed. There they would just lie together, Toki would grab one of his hands and hold it tightly. There was no speaking, Leonard would lay still while his boyfriend would cry and nuzzle his hand. That hurt, not the death grip Toki had on his hand, but the sound of his choked sobs and pained cries. 

Those were the bad type of nights.

The worst nights were the ones where Leonard would wait for Toki to drop by, but he wouldn’t come by. He counted the days he didn’t see Toki up until he finally stopped counting, it was too many days and several weeks. He lost himself in drugs and booze to try and forget the guy he loved and sucked at keeping safe.

That was until one night after three lines of coke and five beers there would be a timid knock on the door. He’d open it to see Toki standing there; Toki with his tangled thick brown hair, his blackened right eye, split lip, and his nose broken for the third time this year. Yet he was grinning up at the older boy and Leonard found himself hugging him tightly and wanting to yell at him for disappearing like that and making him be alone and thinking he’d lost him for real. Toki would hug him back and laugh, he’d pet his fingers through the older boy’s frizzed out blond hair and meekly apologize to him for being gone for so long. 

By this point Leonard was just so happy to see him again he couldn’t be mad or scared. He’d invite him into the house, offer to fix him a three course meal if he wanted it, he offered him weed and offered him beer. Toki was happy with the beer and the weed, he suggested they take them to Leonard’s bedroom for the night and that was just fine with him.

There wasn’t any sex, a Mashed Potato Johnson album played mournfully in the background as they sat on the edge of Leonard’s bed and looked out the window that looked out over a shit suburban neighborhood filled with people neither of them enjoyed the company of. They smoked, they drank, the record played songs of suicide and Devils at Crossroads. 

Finally, Leonard would get the balls to say something, “God I th-thought your old man might of found out you were d-dating me for a s-second there.” 

Toki smiled, he continued staring ahead, took another hit from the joint he held between his index finger and thumb. As he released the smoke into the room he laughed, not the kind of laugh that was happy but the kind that made Leonard’s stomach hurt more than the blues music playing.

“No, he found out I was sneaking out though. That’s why I stopped coming by for so long, trust me you’ll know when he finds out I’m dating you….” Toki said, this time he did look in Leonard’s direction and he wished that he hadn’t looked at him as he spoke those haunting words.

A song played about losing a wife to a run-away train, Leonard felt chills about what Toki had said. He wanted to hear more, what did he mean by that?

That was the thing though.

They were young and maybe in an odd way mentally Toki despite being sixteen was a lot older than the both of them combined, he acted so childish sometimes, but there was something in his gray eyes that scared the older boy. It was like he knew his own future, this relationship wasn’t part of the future and that scared Leonard a lot. Leonard was young, he was depressed and anxious, but he had a lot of hope buried beneath that. His head was full of fairy tales and dreams, dreams that involved Toki in his future, in their future. He didn’t like hearing there would be a ‘when’ to Toki’s father finding out about the two of them dating, he wanted Toki away from those horrible hateful people. He wanted to tell him that, wanted to tell him he wouldn’t let him go back there ever again, but Leonard wasn’t that sort of guy.

More songs about trains and dying played mournfully on the record player, Leonard took Toki’s face in his hands and kissed him hard. 

Like on a good night they made love, Leonard was hopeful that this wouldn’t end in tragedy, but eventually there really did come a day when Toki stopped showing up on his doorstep and a day where the albums just became too difficult to listen to and the yelling in his head made him dizzy. In the end there wasn’t much hope and fairy tales were for children, they were young, but not too young to hurt and feel loss.


End file.
